


Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

by NapoleonBonerfart



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Crossover, Gen, crackfic, ugly green jacket
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 04:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2095602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NapoleonBonerfart/pseuds/NapoleonBonerfart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mamoru ends up in a certain bar on a friday night, what do the regular patrons there think of his choice of attire?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I wrote this, I really don't.

**9:45 PM On A Friday.**

**Philadelphia, PA.**

Mamoru Chiba was not having the best weekend.  His last midterm was yesterday and he could feel that he had bombed it.  So what was he doing in a dive bar in Philadelphia.  He wasn’t sure, but his college friends had somehow talked him into it.  At least Usako back home wouldn’t have to know the details of tonight.

Walking into the bar, Mamoru could just tell that this was a bad idea.  The entire place seemed dingy and kinda rotten, not to mention the pervasive smell of burnt garbage.

"Whoa."  Said a young guy at the bar.  He looked to be in his late 20’s with messy hair and looked like he hadn’t shaved in a few days.  "Dude, that is an AWESOME jacket."  He said, looking at Mamoru’s olive green blazer.  Mamoru looked over at the guy and saw that he was wearing an olive drab army-style jacket that seemed very well-worn.

”Thank you.”  Replied Mamoru.  Good thing Usako wasn’t here, she HATED that jacket.

"What can I get you hot stuff.  Coors Lite? Mojito?  An invite to my open mic show next week?"  Asked the bartender.  She was a blonde girl who looked to be in her early 30’s.

"Dammit Dee you’re supposed to be taking orders and serving drinks!  Not trying to shill for your own terrible standup!"  Yelled the other bartender, a tall and skinny guy with short slightly curly hair.

"Well excuse me for wanting to have some kind of ambitions Dennis!"  She yelled back.  Turning back to mamoru, she put on her sweetest voice, which admittedly wasn’t much.  "So what can I get you?"  She asked.

"A rum and coke please."  Mamoru asked, hoping to defuse the situation.

"You sure you don’t want a Coors Lite?"  Dee asked.

"Oh my god Dee."  The young guy with the army jacket spoke up.  "Do you not know how to make a Rum and Coke? It’s like the simplest drink ever."

"Yeahhh well whatever Charlie."  Dee retorted.  "I’m just saying that look at this guy, he looks smart, he’s sophisticated, his fashion sense could use some work, but he seems more like the kind of person that would go for a Coors Lite than a rum and coke."

Mamoru wasn’t sure exactly what kind of mess he had gotten into the middle of, but all he wanted was to get out at this point.  Even the Shitennou back during the Golden Kingdom at their worst weren’t as bad as these people were.

"Whoa Dee."  Interjected Dennis.  "You can’t just make fun of a customers fashion sense."

"I wasn’t making fun of it, I was just saying that it could use some work."  Said Dee, defending herself.  "Seriously, get this guy into the right clothes and he could have aaaannny chick he wanted."

"Um…  I do have a girlfriend you know."  Said Mamoru

"Well, we’ll work on that."  Said Dee.

"Oh my god Dee, could you seriously be any thirstier right now?"  Said Dennis.

"Heyyoooo!  What’s up bitches!"  Said another guy walking into the bar.  This guy had a very light, but still deliberate, beard and was much more muscular, and seemed to show it off by wearing a tank top.  "Dude, that is a badass jacket."

"I know right?"  Replied Charlie.  "Seriously though dude, where did you get that sweet jacket?"

Mamoru laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.  ”It’s been so long, I don’t really remember.  Sorry.”

"Seriously Mac, you too?"  Dee asked.  "Look hon I’m sorry but that jacket isn’t the best look on you."  Turning her attention to Mac, Dee remarked.  "Considering that duster you own Mac, I’m not sure you’re the best person to make fashion judgements."

"Seriously Dee?" Mac seemed taken aback.  "First of all that duster makes me look badass.  Second of all…  Did he leave?"

Everybody looked around the bar, but Mamoru had already left.  He never did get that Rum and Coke.


End file.
